awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
