Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
should my penis look like a turkey
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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