I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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