So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
