Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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