He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
