glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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