Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha http://tfl.nu/wuor
  Replies (21) Good night (3883) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?" (763): Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka. http://tfl.nu/xe07
  Replies (10) Good night (3597) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed. http://tfl.nu/amby
  Replies (18) Good night (6738) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7936) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy. http://tfl.nu/vwp7
  Replies (14) Good night (4446) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2774) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2665) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
  Replies (12) Good night (662) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Helmets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids? (609): Helmets. http://tfl.nu/n1xg
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ynfj
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/e6pv
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes. http://tfl.nu/ikkg
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today http://tfl.nu/btpq
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (144)

Randomize