I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.