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• (540): View more from Virginia

  It was kinda weird being the boss

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Did you feel like Tony Danza?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.

  (518): View more from New York

  Huh?

  (917): View more from New York City

  I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  That's not a bad idea, actually...

  Fav 19 4282 936

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm okay with that.

  Fav 6 1248 993

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive

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• (352): View more from Florida

  A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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