I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
