Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...