The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
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You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.