Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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(213): View more from California

The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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(+61): View more from Australia

He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room

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(512): View more from Texas

I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot

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(707): View more from California

Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage

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