All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
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She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."