dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
