Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
