we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
