You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize