Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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