I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
