Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im part way to drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
