it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
