David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
