dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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