I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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