my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
