I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
