I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
