I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize