I accidentally burped into my bong.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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