i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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