Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
