I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
