I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
