I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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