Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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