but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
