Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
yes thatโs a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. Iโve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
Itโs like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
