he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
