if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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