yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize