If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
