You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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