so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
send nudes
from the living room?
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