it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my liver is dry heaving
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
