even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
