Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
