On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
