Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
