Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
