I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
