Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
