Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
