i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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