He is an equal opportunity slut.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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