So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
