I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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