If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sober January is a disaster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He has the fingertips of a God
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