Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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