So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
