so that wasnt chicken after all
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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