those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
