he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
