He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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