would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
