Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize